Reflections on Habit-Forming

It’s time for a tweak to that wonderful system I was going on about just a couple of short months ago. Thank goodness I have the sense to read other homeschooling mothers’ blogs and can plainly see that tweaking is just what we do – otherwise I might begin to think I was a bit flighty.

We were attempting to use the workbox system, modified so that the kids could choose what they wanted to do throughout the week from a long list of subjects, rather than have set tasks to do each day. I thought that it would set parameters and goals for our learning, while at the same time allow for the flexibility that they seem to crave. It was a beautiful system – a joy to behold – and it would have worked perfectly too, were it not for that pesky problem of Human Nature.

No, Dear Reader, we’re not immune to it either. You know how it goes: “I’ll get to my math later. I’m doing art right now.” “I’m researching about the first king of England. I’ll feed the cat in a minute.” “No, I haven’t practised the piano for two days, but I’ll do extra on Saturday, I promise!” Those subjects and tasks which were less appealing were simply never undertaken voluntarily. (I suddenly hear my husband’s voice in the back of my head saying, “I could have told you that!”)

I was feeling increasingly unsettled about this. I took a good look at myself. What was I doing while the kids were happily engaged in following their whims? Getting caught up on all that housework, perhaps? Um…no. I don’t much like housework. I did manage to follow my own whims and spend extra time online researching topics of interest to me.

So, we were all learning and we were all happy. Unschoolers reading this must be shaking their heads and asking, “What, exactly, is the problem?” (The problems are a lack of self-discipline, the potential for spoiled children, and many unfinished tasks, but it is a question of priorities and I appreciate that others will not see it the same way.)

The Need for Good Habits
I decided to go back to my homeschooling roots and get a little refresher. I had started reading about the Charlotte Mason educational philosophy before beginning to homeschool, and it really resonated with me as being a sound and appealing approach, although I didn’t end up implementing it entirely.

For those who are unaware of the CM philosophy, its hallmarks include a broad introduction to many subjects, taught in short lessons; the extensive use of living books and interesting materials, rather than dry textbooks; the appreciation of art, music and nature, as well as great literature; and considerable free time for children to pursue appropriate interests (not to have unproductive idle time).

Another matter on which she wrote extensively was “habit-forming”. Granted, she was teaching in Victorian times, when society was more formalized and there were, perhaps, greater expectations that people would adhere to certain moral and behavioural standards. Still, the instillation of good habits into our young people, and ourselves, would go a long way to counteracting some of our self-indulgent behaviours that are so prevalent today.

It was interesting to note how, while enjoying the freedom of the of the weekly workbox system, the children stopped doing their household chores each day. They also stopped practising the piano as often. BioBoy went nearly four weeks (albeit over the slower Christmas season) without doing mathematics. I don’t think SciGuy, who dislikes writing, picked up a pencil during that time. There was no place for routine in their concept of freedom and, clearly, good habits had not been sufficiently formed to withstand the absence of a schedule telling them what needed to be accomplished.

Hence the need for a little tweaking. I have now reintroduced some scheduling into our system. We spent the last week starting our days with our chores and those subjects which really need daily attention: Creative Writing, Math, Spelling, French, and Piano are some of them. There is still plenty of time for the kids to pursue their own interests, but since those can be time-consuming, a little work on habit-forming will ensure that our responsibilities get looked after first and foremost and don’t get lost in the shuffle.

As for me, I have the important job of Setting A Good Example. So, I won’t be turning on the computer first thing in the morning to peruse my emails while sipping my coffee. I’ll be doing housework. (Cue the violins.)

Watch this space for the next instalment of Homeschool Tweaking: Does it Ever End?

The Unschooling Dilemma

I’m a planner.  I can’t help myself.  My lists and schedules give me great pleasure.  Not that I always follow them, but knowing that they are there is comforting.

That’ s why I’m having a difficult time completely giving myself over to the notion of unfettering my children with schedules and allowing them to learn what they want and when they want.   Unschooling, rather than schooling.

During our first year of homeschooling, I saw firsthand how my kids balked when I scheduled things too tightly.   As the year went on, we let up and were considerably more “unschooly”; although, there were certain things they were required to do each day.  Yet, as a new school year approaches, I find myself again trying to plug too many things into a schedule that I know, intellectually, will fall apart the first month.  Oh, I’m a little smarter:   I’ve planned three intense weeks, followed by a catch-up week each month.  Still, chances are it’s not going to work.

Why do I do this, when I know that my kids are naturally intellectually curious and could spend all day “learning” about their chosen interests?  Well, for starters, they are both incredibly single-minded.  BioBoy is now 7, but since he was at least 3 or 4 he has been so interested in dinosaurs and animals that they have been all-consuming.  It hasn’t let up and shows no signs of doing so in future.  I’d rather like it if he could grow up also being able to do some math, speak other languages and appreciate great literature. 

Also, sometimes in life you have to do things or learn things that you are not deeply passionate about, and I don’t want that lesson lost on them entirely. 

I understand that my children probably retain things better when they are passionate about them.  That’s why I’ve chosen materials that are, to the extent possible, living, exciting, challenging and stimulating.  We try to avoid unnecessary busy work that is common in schools and let ourselves be fully engaged.   But, we took them out of school to ensure that they were sufficiently challenged — letting them sit around and draw pictures of butterflies, or tinker with spare parts in the “science box” all day, while no doubt pleasurable, is hardly stretching them. 

In truth, the boys did express interest in many of the subjects I introduced last year.  We had lots of fun doing history and chemistry and we read some fabulous stories together.  Would they have done that on their own?  Perhaps, but I’m a little too uptight, I suppose, to sit back and leave that to chance.  They do need some structure in their lives, I believe, to ensure, if nothing else, that they develop character traits such as discipline and orderliness. 

Still, imposing a schedule over the whole thing seems like setting ourselves up for failure.  Routine is important — rigidity is unhelpful.   I’m going to have to go back to those schedules and build in even more flexibility.  Perhaps simply having a path in mind is better, with little guideposts along the way to keep us moving forward.  Problem is, sometimes we don’t move forward, necessarily, but we move deeper and broader.  Hard to schedule that and I really don’t want to stamp it out.

I have to remember that our goal, as the blog header states, is to keep the joy of learning alive.  Not to stamp it out with a drill-sergeant/school marm combo that is destined to make the children hate our time together.  Yet, I do still have to keep my rather old-school husband satisfied that we are accomplishing things (and that the kids could ace any standardised test they might take — and will have to, if he has his way), so it’s a balancing act for sure.   

Ahh…the pendulum that is my mind.